Heart Hitting

2008-08-18T22:18:00.001-04:00

There will come a time...

When people will disappear. Those who have known and claimed Jesus Christ as their Savior will be gone. Poof. Just like that. In light of my post the other day, I felt like I needed to mention something.

You can figure out which one Jesus is; liar, lunatic or Lord. You can decide He's one of the first two. But when the day comes that MILLIONS of people disappear, remember this. It didn't just "happen". It wasn't some random alien that snatched us all away. It was the return of my Lord and Savior for me and those who have called upon His name for the forgiveness of their sins.

2008-08-16T10:42:00.000-04:00

I have a deep burden on my heart today. Have for years, but the weight of it has grown over the last two weeks. Normally this blog is more of a discipling tool. It's a little different today. I don't remember who first said this premise, but the first person I heard it from was my former pastor, Jim Johnson (www.justapreacherministries.com). Great stuff from Jim if you want to check him out.

Do you believe the Man, Jesus, lived? If so, what do you believe He was? Think about it for a bit then come back and finish reading once you've got it in your mind what you believe.

You see, many people believe Jesus lived on the earth and died during the time of the Bible. That they don't dispute and history has many facts and artifacts stating it. Now, if He lived, He could only have been one of three things: a liar, a lunatic or the Lord.

Some believe He was a prophet or a wise man. Okay, it's something I believe in part. But if you believe He was a prophet or wise man, how can you say He wasn't the Lord? You can't say He was wise/prophetic, believe SOME of what He said/claimed and throw out the rest. Either He's real or He's a liar. Otherwise, He's not the One deciding what's truth, you are. You only take what you WANT to believe about Him and leave the rest as lies. If I hear a pastor tell me something I know is an outright lie, he has lost all credibility in my eyes. None of what he says is of value to me anymore. So, how can something Christ said have value if you don't believe all of it? Liar, lunatic...

Some believe He was just mad, stark raving crazy. Okay. Claiming to be the Messiah could be considered on the off side of things. If you believe this, it's your choice. Some of what He said, though, came to pass. Many things are documented as having happened. Not quite the ravings of a lunatic. And, again, if you believe anything He said, you can't claim He's a lunatic without being intellectually dishonest. Hypocricy isn't a pretty trait. Liar, lunatic or Lord...

It all boils down to this: if you believe Christ lived, that even some of what He said was true, then He has to be what He claimed. The Son of God. The Lamb of God Who died for our sins. You can't believe some of it and throw out the rest without being untrue to yourself. We humans can't even make the right decisions all the time so how can we trust ourselves to filter something as big as Christ correctly? Especially when there is so much evidence out there that Christ lived, He died and He is still working in the lives of those who believe in Him? Just the name of Christ can break bondages, heal, and calm. Ever wonder why no one curses the name of Buddha? It's only God and Christ which are taken in vain. Why? Just something to ponder.

I don't know where so many of the people I love stand on the issue of faith in Jesus Christ. Dear friends, people I've known most or all of my life. I've watched as their lives go down painful paths. I've prayed and cried. I can't change things for them. I can't make the decisions for them. But I can pray. I can tell them what I know to be Truth. Jesus Christ LIVED. He died on the cross to cover the payment of sin so that I can live FREELY. With joy and peace. Things I long for my loved ones to find.

There will come a time that we all stand before Him to account for our lives. My prayer is for everyone to know Him as Lord before it's too late.

2008-02-27T14:49:00.009-05:00

Wives

Okay, first things first. Husbands, I do NOT suggest you show this to your wives with a, "SEE, God says it!" attitude. Make sure you are doing YOUR role in the marriage before you take that on.

Christian wives, listen up. And those who want to be wives someday. (If you are not a Christian, this won't make any sense to you, but you still might get something out of it. ) I have some things to say that you probably won't like. Oh well. God says it, He tells me to write it and so I do. Take it up with Him if you don't like it. See how far you get.

If you'd like to read a FASCINATING survey of 400 men, go to the website below *. You can become a member for free in order to read the survey. But for this particular blog I'm going to use one question they asked:

Think about what these two negative experiences would be like: to feel alone and unloved in the world OR to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone. If you were forced to choose one, which would you prefer? Would you rather feel...? {Choose One Answer}

Respondents Who Answered Question: 400
Alone And Unloved: 73.8%
Inadequate And Disrespected: 26.3%
Total: 100%

Wives, did you READ that??? Do you realize that your husband most likely wants RESPECT from you most of all? Now, what does God's Word say? "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22 NASU

Here's a head's up, ladies. You are in direct DISOBEDIENCE to God if you are not subject to your husband. What does subject mean?

to arrange under, to subordinate

to subject, put in subjection

to subject one's self, OBEY

to submit to one's control

to yield to one's admonition or advice

to obey, be subject

A Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in amilitary fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden"

YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE. YOU are not the one who gets to call the shots. YOU are not the one who gets to make all the decisions. YOU are NOT to rule OVER your husband. You are NOT the one GOD has put in control.

So, some of you are saying, "But he's not doing it!" Or, "He doesn't do it the right way." Or, "He's too lazy to do it."

Listen VERY carefully. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX HIM!!!!!!!! Ladies, if I could shout this to you, I would. It is GOD'S job to fix your husband. GET OUT OF HIS WAY! He WILL run you over if He has to. It is NOT a pretty sight. For the sake of your marriage, your children and YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST, give him to GOD. Did you realize that disrespecting your husband as the head of your household is keeping you from being closer to Christ??? It's sin and sin separates us from the love of God. It's that simple.

The Holy Spirit is the ONLY One who can change hearts. You, dear ladies, are NOT Him. Say it out loud...I'M NOT GOD.

The survey results tell me something. They tell me one of the biggest reasons WHY marriages are dying. I know so many marriages where the wife is the head of the household. She is the one who manipulates things to get her own way. She is the one who whines or nags or cries about what she wants until the husband gives in. Now, the husband has a role in all of this which is addressed in Scripture pretty strongly. Being a woman, it is not my place to take that one on. Maybe my hubby will. ;-)

Women, if you are nagging your husband you are WRONG in the sight of God. If you are manipulating your husband to get your way, you are WRONG. If you are not letting HIM be the one in charge, you are wrong. You are ALSO wrong if you tear him down in front of others. You are wrong to say negative things about him to your children which tear him down in their precious little eyes. Snide remarks count here! You are WRONG to use those same beautiful children against your husband, ESPECIALLY to get your way. You are wrong to try to be the one who rules the roost.

God says in Genesis 3:16, "Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." NASU

Desire here has several meanings. In this context, it means:

1. desire, longing, craving

2. of beast to devour

This is the SAME usage of the original Greek word in this Scripture: Genesis 4:7
"If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it." NASU

Do you GET it? Your wanting to have your way is SIN wanting to have ITS way in your marriage. You are letting SIN and satan have your marriage. You are ALLOWING sin to take over. You are not allowing your husband to be in control and therefore are getting in the way of GOD! Who do you THINK is going to win THAT battle? Let me tell you...it's not YOU.

Is it easy? Not by a long shot. No battle against sin is. Thanks to Eve, this is something EVERY wife deals with in one form or another. But is it something we HAVE to battle against for our marriages.

Let me give you a few things you can do to start the process.

1. GET ON YOUR KNEES BEFORE GOD - nothing gets us more prepared for being under our husband's authority than being under God's first and foremost. He called us to it, ladies. He will get us through it. During that time on your knees PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND. Pray for a softened heart if you have a critical spirit. Pray for your husband to desire God's will for your lives. Pray for your husband to long for God first and foremost.

2. GIVE HIM A COMPLIMENT - TELL that man you love how proud of him you are, and let your kids hear you say it. I can pretty much guarantee you will see a huge smile on his face. If you see him get a confused look, then you know you have a LOT of work to do in building that man up! You've done some damage and you better work on fixing it!

3. SUPPORT HIS DECISIONS - even if you don't agree with them. You two are not the same person. You are both individuals, BUT respecting him and being subject to him means you follow what HE says not what you want. We do that with God and our lives work out MUCH better for it. This doesn't mean you keep your opinions to yourself. God doesn't tell us to be a doormat. BUT He wants us to respect the authority structure He's given us. I am free to tell my husband I disagree with him on something. Sometimes I give him a perspective which he didn't think of himself. That may change his mind. Other times his mind is set and that's fine. I've voiced my opinion and I trust God enough that He'll take care of me. I trust my husband as well, that he loves me as Christ loves the church. Again, that gets into the husband's role in all of this. :-) If you don't trust God oryour husband then you have MUCH deeper issues to work on!

4. LOVE HIM THE WAY CHRIST WOULD - that means ALL of him. Not just the things you LIKE about him. Christ loved your husband enough the way he is to die for him. Your husband is the man you promised God you would love forever. That means something to God and it should mean something to you. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE HIM. If you want to destroy a marriage fast, go ahead and think you can change that man. You don't have the power. Give it up and let God. He's MUCH better at it.

There is so much to this. I wish I could sit down with all of you and explain just how crucial it is to get this right.

For those who are in abusive relationships...my heart breaks for you. Know that God sees you and loves you more than you can imagine. That is not the kind of relationship I'm discussing here. That's another situation entirely.

If you want to be divorced, keep doing things the way you've been doing them. Allow your own desire for control to keep you from the fulfilling life and marriage God wants for you. If you want an abundant marriage full of joy and happiness, do it God's way. It's more than worth the fight. I know. :-) I have one of those great marriages and I wish it for all of you.

*Survey used from the book, "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn The professional survey was designed with the guidance of Chuck Cowan of Analytic Focus (www.analyticfocus.com), the former chief of survey design at the U.S. Census Bureau. The survey was conducted by Decision Analyst (www.decisionanalyst.com) and was designed to deliver a random, representative, national sample of 400 men (the sample size suggested by Chuck Cowan) who were heterosexual, lived within the U.S., and were between the ages of 21 and 75. (copied from website http://www.4-womenonly.com/home.aspx) I HIGHLY recommend it and it's companion book, "For Men Only" written by the same author and her husband Jeff.

2008-02-19T12:40:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling this is going to get a LOT of people uptight. But, I have to do what God tells me to do. For those who know me, do you expect anything else? :-)

Okay, I'm reading in my Beth Moore Bible study (Living Beyond Yourself - Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit) today and come across something that just reinforced my understanding of life beginning at conception. See where this might get sticky for some?

The lesson is on humilty. Elizabeth's life of humility was lived out in front of John (who became John the Baptist and was spoken of, by Christ, as great among men.
Matthew 11:11
"Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.
NASU

So, in the passage where Scripture tells us Elizabeth will have the child John, we see this phrase in the New American Standard Version: Luke 1:15
"...and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit while yet in his mother's womb."
NASU

Now, in order to understand why this particular version is necessary, I have to tell you that there is concesus among Bible scholars as to this NAS version being the most accurate translation of the original languages. If you read this verse in the NIV, you find that it says "from birth". A much different meaning for what God revealed to me. The NIV is known for being a paraphrased translation.

If we, as Christians, believe that Jesus Christ NEVER died prior to His death on the cross then we HAVE to believe that life begins at conception! Otherwise, when He left heaven to be planted in Mary's womb, there was a time when He was not "living". He was not in heaven. We are told He gave UP His place in heaven to become fully Man for the forgiveness of our sins. SO, either He was in heaven until some time after the conception of Him in Mary's womb (which we do NOT have told to us in the Scriptures) OR life begins at conception!

I know many of you are saying, "Yeah, that's what I've always believed. What's the big deal?" The big deal is that we have Scriptural backing FOR that belief in the form of our Lord and Savior! Also, for those who may have thought there was some time after the egg is fertilized in which life happens, we don't have any basis for that according to our belief in Christ.

There may be women reading this blog who have had abortions. My heart aches for you. I cannot imagine the pain. I CAN imagine, and have felt, the forgiveness of our loving Savior. Open your heart to Him and allow that pain to be healed in His mighty compassion for you. I am not intending to make that pain more difficult. I cannot keep silent about the things God gives me, though.

I hope this makes sense. I'm writing it as quickly as I can type! The excitement overwhelmed me and, frankly, I HAD to get it out. My poor hubby got a phone call from me a few minutes ago and he probably thought I was going slightly nuts. :-) Well, more nuts than I already am! :-)

2007-10-02T12:33:00.001-04:00

It has been almost a year since I last posted. So much has happened and it's all relevant so I'll try to catch you up.

January was pretty quiet while we awaited the birth of our third child. The pregnancy was complicated, but his arrival couldn't have been easier unless someone else had done it for me! On the doctor's end of things, the two vessel cord was wrapped around my little guy's throat AND had a knot in it. This is one child who was supposed to be born. He's gorgeous and no ill effects from his birth, praise God.

Then, about a month after he was born, we went to his pediatrician with some concerns about his spitting up. I asked for prayers from the group of prayer warriors God has gathered (if you'd like to join that worldwide group, let me know at prayerwarriors@cfl.rr.com) for wisdom in knowing what was up with the little one. One of my friends emailed back that it sounded like what her grandson had gone through. Something called pyloric stenosis. Do a google search to find out about it if you're curious. We saw the pediatrician at 1:45 PM, by 4 PM we had a bed at the hospital and at 10:30 PM my one month old was undergoing emergency surgery. That next month was spent trying to get his little system back on track, but again we had to praise God for His wisdom and mercy.

That takes us to the end of April/beginning of May. Mother's Day was approaching. I had gotten my card ready to send to my mom. At 2 AM my phone rang. It was my sister-in-law telling me my brother had shot himself. Many things I've prepared for in my life. That's not one of them. For the next few hours details emerged and the family rallied. The day I flew up to PA would have been my brother's 44th birthday. Consolation came only in knowing that my brother was saved prior to the mental illnesses that caused his paranoia. Watching my five year old nephew try to understand where his daddy was broke my heart. Holding my siblings/mother/father, seeing the shell of my brother. My mother telling me she should NOT have to bury a child. Sights and sounds I'll never forget as long as I live.

June begins the season of having my children home from school. Five hours a week of therapy for my daughter took up a majority of my time, as well as desperately trying to get my youngest on a schedule. It really was hard with him for some reason and my lack of sleep, frustration and plain exhaustion really took a toll.

During this time, December to July, a contract for our company was in the process of being worked out. Things got to the point of putting signatures on the pages and then...silence on the other end. Nothing. God is God and we figured He brought us the opportunity and He'd be the One to deal with it.

July started work on my annual writers' conference. Normally I would have been working on it from January of February, but life got in the way. So, I came in really late and played catch up. My oldest brother underwent testing for a heart condition. He's only 47.

August brought the possiblity of my oldest sister having very late stage cancer of the ovaries. A few weeks of testing and whatnot before surgery in early September. They found NOTHING, praise God.

And now, my own medical issues come back around. The fibroid which grew during my pregnancy has not shrunk. I'll be having a hysterectomy on November 2nd to remove it and my uterus.

During all of this time, there were issues with my other two kids, issues with the youngest attatching to his daddy or ANYONE else besides me. My mom going through more tests for diabetes and cholesterol, having surgery on her arteries to get rid of blockages, siblings coming back into the fold.

What does all this mean? Many might say it's been a year of attacks. Many would consider this year a horrible one without any sign of hope. Many would be wrong.

You see, this year has made me cement who I believe God is. I know He's God. I know He's the Creator and in charge of everything, but did I BELIEVE He had the best plan for me? Did I truly trust His will for my life to be better than I could ask or imagine? Could my faith stand up to a year of trials and tribulations without faltering?

Yes, it could and did. I either believe God is God or I don't. I either believe He loves me more than His own life, or I don't. Either He is LORD or He's not. Either this is HIS world and all that's in it, or it's not. There is no lukewarm, there is no gray. It's very black and white. God made me put my beliefs on the line this year and I believe I've heard, "Well done, " a time or two. Has it been perfect? Not by any stretch. But I know that I'm closer now to my Daddy than I've ever been before. His still, small Voice is all I want to hear.

I'll never go through all my Savior did. I'll never have to sacrifice myself and take on the wrath of God to save the lives of such undeserving people. What little I have to deal with on this side of heaven is worth the glimpses of glory He's shown me. And I'm not going to let anything, no trials nor tribulations, take that from me.

Without Him, I am nothing. He is my everything. Is He yours?

Oh, and that contract? It got signed about a month ago. :-)

2006-12-11T21:56:00.000-05:00

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He remembered those who had lied about him back when he had a job. About those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the One he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

"Lord, You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for You, and I happily obeyed. Today, You have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't know how. It is not fair, Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as Your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep, Lord, I fear I may not hear You, but I pray that You teach me to do this one thing I cannot do. Teach me to forgive."

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt.

He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them.

He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked.
The man answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"
The man answered, "Yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more.

"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus
asked.
And the man answered, "Yes, Lord."

"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?"
The man, crying harder, answered, "Yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever…?" The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer, "Yes, Lord."

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.

Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

I do not know who the author of the above was, but it illustrates what I'm about to say.

Matthew 6:14-15
"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

Forgiveness isn't primarily for the person who sinned against you. It is for YOU. Bitter roots will spring up when we harbor unforgivenss. The rot of such is a stink in our Savior's nostrils and a slap on His bleeding face as He stares down at us from the Cross. How can we, who have given nothing for the grace which we received, dare to tell the One Who died such a horrid death, that WE won't forgive someone?? Christ didn't die to cover just the sins of those who accept Him. He died for ALL sin. Everything. It's our choice as to whether we acknowledge and embrace that forgiveness. It's still there, whether people accept it or not.

Mark 11:25
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."
NASU

WHENEVER...any time you come before the throne of God you should be making sure your heart is pure, without malice or anger or slander or envy or any of those things He's trying to take from our lives. There is NOTHING He wants more than pure lives from us. But we have to rid ourselves of those hateful ways we cling to. Otherwise, the enemy lives through us and causes immeasurable damage.

Luke 17:3-4
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, "I repent,' forgive him."
NASU

I've had people use this Scripture to tell me they don't have to forgive unless the person asks for it and repents. Who made you God? Last time I looked, it was Christ on the Cross saying, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." He didn't ask for repentance before He died. Otherwise, all of us who live today would be up the creek! We couldn't ask anything 2000+ years ago as He hung on the tree. If Christ is our example, then we have to follow ALL He says and does. He forgave for HIS HEART'S purity. Not because we asked for it.

I have had many people hurt me in my life. Most of them have no idea I'm aware of some of what they've done. As a youth leader, I can't tell you the pain some of my kids inflicted on me. I cried mroe times in those six years than I think I ever have. But you know what? Not one of those kids, now adults and having kids of their own, knows I forgave them. They never asked me to. But CHRIST did. I still have relationships with them. Who would it hurt if I didn't forgive them? Me, mostly. Them? Sure! They know they can come to me any time without judgment or me throwing back in their faces all the times they were wrong. How would THAT show them Christ lived out in my life?

Luke 17:4
"And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, "I repent,' forgive him."
NASU

Again, what is Christ's example? Forgiveness without question. It's for our sakes, and for our relationship with Him, that we forgive. The side benefit of obeying His words to "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Hard to do if you're harboring unforgiveness in your heart.

2 Corinthians 2:10-11
"But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes."
NASU

Why would anyone want to give the enemy an advantage??? For those who, like me, are on the front lines of spiritual warfare, our very souls cry out for the enemy to be vanquished. Why would we allow anything in our lives to be used for the other side?? Especially when we have control over it???

There are some who will take this and go looking through the Scriptures to find counter quotes. At least it will get you in the Word. The time is short. We are to be living as if His return is any moment. I refuse to allow the enemy to steal any of the reward Christ has in store for me, by walking in disobedience and getting rid of those things in my life which are not of Him. Those things which shackle me, bind me, hold me back. They make my heart heavy and my days burdensome. Nothing like the easy yoke He calls me to.

Are you weighed down? Do you find the joy is gone? Are you constantly finding the faults in others? Do you tend to be someone others want to be around because you exude the joy of the Lord and His grace? If not, search your heart and allow Christ to renew it.

Galatians 5:22-6:9
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

"If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. For each one will bear his own load. The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
NASU

Against such things there is NO law. Live in them and be one who shows who Christ is in how you live. Be different from the world. It takes work like no other, but the rewards are so unbelievably sweet.

2006-08-16T05:54:00.000-04:00

It's been a hard month. Actually, it started in the middle of June, but we'll get to that later. :-)

Two weeks ago we got a call that a dear friend had died, suddenly, of a heart attack. Mel was only 57, and as one person described at his funeral, a sparkplug. Appropriate. The man lived life to it's fullest and didn't stop. He never wanted to miss an experience making family along the way. The funeral last week was packed. I've never been to one before where they had to put chairs in the church foyer to accomodate all the people. But Mel went home leaving his wife and daughter to grieve and struggle through the "why".

One day after that funeral we got the call that my husband's grandfather passed away. A blessing, though we grieve. Granddaddy was suffering from many different things, but primarily an amputation done in April from which the doctors didn't expect him to survive. He was in great pain for a long time and blessedly went Home in his sleep. That funeral was Friday.

On Monday of this week my dad called letting me know he was on the way to the hospital with my mom being taken in an ambulance. She had had another stroke more severe than the first one. We didn't know what the results were going to be, but I called out the prayer warriors. :-) God is good and Mom should be coming home today with little residual damage.

Three weeks ago we made a difficult decision to follow God in obedience and leave our church of six years. This is just as much like the grief of death as there are many there whom we love dearly. But we have a choice in life...do what God calls us to do in obedience or face the consequences. We're not real keen on the consequences so we obeyed.

Now, for what started back in June. Many of you don't know yet, and I'll find out who reads the blog and who doesn't :-), but I'm 14 weeks pregnant with our third little surprise bundle. Yes, for those who know me well, it was another surprise. I DO know how these things work, but I've always said God is the One in charge of all of this. If He wants me to have another it won't matter what I do to prevent it. I'm getting to the okay point. Past the shock and numbness. Well into the sickness and tiredness. :-)

The hard part about this? Many reasons really, but I got news yesterday from the OB that they are going to consider the pregnancy high risk due to a fibroid tumor attatched to my uterus. NO panic necessary. :-) The tumor is non-cancerous. It's the size of a large orange and makes me look/feel more preggo than I actually am. Clothes don't fit so I'm in the between stages of looking fat, but not quite pregnant. :-) Gotta love it.

What's the point of all this? People keep saying, "You poor thing!" about any one of these issues. When they hear about ALL of them I think they expect me to be a puddle on the floor. I'm not. I'm tired, as a dear friend told me God's been laying on her heart, but emotionally I'm fine. I'm not worried about my mom, nor fretting over my loses so dear. Nor am I worried about being classified as high risk with the baby. Why not? Because this is where the faith rubber hits the road.

Either I truly believe that this life is NOT my own to control or even fret about or I don't. I either believe God is truly in control, with all the details at His disposal for making the decisions, or I don't. From my daughter's surgery (which went fantastically well, thanks for the prayers) to my newest bundle's safety, I have NO control over any of it. And I'm FINE with that. :-) I feel like I'm passing the test somehow. I'm at peace with all that's going on around me because I'm at peace with HIM.

Phillippeans 4:11 became one of my theme verses a few years ago. I'm not going to print it here because you should read it for yourself. If you know anything about Paul's life you know mine is CAKE in comparison. But when he can say these words with a joy in his heart...who am I to be otherwise?

One lesson out of this past month or two. Life is short. There is NO time for grudges or unforgiveness to be allowed to fester. You have NO idea when your last breath will be and are not guaranteed another. How do you want to face Christ when you are taken Home? I don't want to be explaining any of that mess being harbored in my heart. Do you?

2006-07-19T10:19:00.000-04:00

Trust
Current mood: Reflective
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I don't have a lot of trust issues. I'm a realist when it comes to people. People will let you down. It's just how we're wired. We're not God and, therefore, are going to do dumb things, even hurtful things sometimes. That's not what I want to focus on today, though.

Trusting God. Trusting that He really does have the best in mind for me and mine.

See, this Friday (July 21st) we are going to watch as our little girl is put under anesthesia for dental work. She has four cavities that we know of and tried to bite the doc when he did the initial exam. I was pretty sure we'd have to do it with her under in order to make all our lives a little less stressed, but it's still a scary thing when your little one goes limp in your arms.

Last summer we went through a similar experience, but it was the first time. I can honestly say I thought I was prepared. God has laid it on my heart from the moment our children were born to pray over them in a certain way. It's a reminder that these precious ones are gifts from Him for a time. I don't know how much or how little time I'll have with them. The prayer asks for His watchful care over them and if He takes them home before they wake, that He be with me in the grief. I thought the years of praying this prepared me for watching my baby go to "sleep" before her MRI. Oh, little did I know.

Getting the IV into her arm wasn't a lot of fun. She's very strong for someone so little and it took all three of us (hubby, me and nurse) to hold her still enough. She looked at us with such hurt in her little eyes it broke my heart. But, as mommies around the world can tell you, we have to do what's best even if we don't like it. :-/ My husband carried her into the outer room of the MRI area where we both held her for the injection of the anesthesia. I watched as our little daughter went from crying to limp in a matter of seconds and my heart nearly stopped. It was as close as I pray I ever have to come to seeing the life drain out of her and it hurt my heart.

My husband and I stumbled to the waiting room where I sat praying like I've never prayed before. This was really a nothing procedure in the grand scheme of things which others undergo, but this was my baby. I prayed for strength. I prayed for peace. I prayed that I'd be okay with whatever the outcome turned out to be. I prayed for His arms to be wrapped around me as never before so I could get through this time. I couldn't read. I couldn't look around. All I had to cling to was my Daddy and He sustained me.

Trust. It all comes back to that. How much do we trust Him? With our very lives? Seems easy. With our daily existence? Maybe a little tougher. With each and every moment we draw breath? To tell us how we are to live each of those breaths? To guide us when it comes to decisions for our children? To show us what to say and do every moment?

I'm learning more and more as I walk down this path of life with Him. He's holding my hand and walking along most of the time. But on days like this coming Friday I know He will be carrying me. I won't have the strength to walk, but I trust Him to take me where I need to go.

Proverbs 3:5-8 - "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones."
NASU

You can read a little bit more about my little ones (not really so little, actually :-)) on http://genxparents.blogspot.com/ where I've been a guest blogger twice. I'm going to submit this particular blog there as well for sometime this week.

2006-06-07T13:36:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. We're going through some remodeling on our master bathroom and BOY what a mess of dust! Got me thinking, though. How much "dust" is covering our hearts? What about our Bibles? Hm.

My hubby and I went to a FANTASTIC marriage conference put on by Family Life called, "A Weekend to Remember". I can't say enough about the experience. We aren't on any shaky ground, which is a huge praise to God for His provision. We are actually stronger now than we've ever been. Again, all to God's glory and not our own.

I took a few things away from the weekend which I've already shared with others. The main one is so powerful, and yet so simple. I've talked about the armor of God in a previous blog. (Suit Up!) One particular Scripture is what the speaker focused on. Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." NASU

He had us reach over and take our spouse's hand. He said, "Squeeze that hand. What's it made of? Flesh and blood. Now, turn to your spouse and say 'You are NOT my enemy'."

Whether you want to admit it or not, according to the Word of God, this is truth. There is NO human being on this earth who is your enemy. I'm not saying people don't do horrible things and deserve to have justice brought on them. I'm a firm believer in justice. I'm talking about those people we are in contact with everyday in our life. Our family members in the same house. Our co-workers. Those who serve us at restaurants. Those we speak to on the phone. Those we see in the same pews each Sunday. Those we are on committees with in church. These people are NOT our enemies and yet we tend to treat them as such at times. WHY???

There is an enemy who longs to destroy us. He longs to destroy relationships which will glorify God. He longs to have anything which is good and right and perfect be messed up so someone will blaim God for it and therefore break fellowship with Him or another believer.

I don't tend to have unbelievers come into my life for counsel. It's mainly Christians who are seeking to find God's leading in their life. And, it's not anyone who's faint of heart. :-) You see, pulling punches isn't my style. I've gotten better in the mercy catagory, but up two from zero isn't saying much. :-) SO, what I'm talking about here is to Christians who are in a relationship with Christ.

How are you treating those around you? Are you a fault finder or are you an encourager? Do you tear them down or build them up? Do those who AREN'T believers see how you treat those people and see Christ or a fallen human being?

I've made a concerted effort to be an encourager. I want those who see me to ask what's different about her? Why is she happy? Why is she treating me so well? Why is she looking out for others and telling me I can do it when I don't think I can? Why isn't she berating me when I've made a mistake?

People will know us by our love or lack thereof.

2006-04-12T06:29:00.000-04:00

For those who prayed for me two weeks ago, I thank you. God gave me the strength to get through the song, though I can't say it was my best, and to speak the words He gave me for our congregation. I have since received thank you cards and many hugs from those who heard what was said and took it to heart as well as those who have been praying the same things for our church. My prayer is for all who were there to hear from God as to what they should do with the words He spoke.

This week is a very special one for me. I love Christmas. The beginning is very important to remember. But for me Resurrection weekend is the highlight of my year. It's the time when we corporately celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't call it "Easter" because it has nothing to do with eggs, rabbits, and a goddess from a pagan religion. Don't get me wrong. I like seeing all the cute decorations and our kiddos have been to many egg hunts. I'm certainly not fanatical about it. I DO want our kids to know the REAL meaning of this weekend and not the world's version.

It's about the death of the Passover Lamb. He was spotless, had no sin. He healed sick and blind people while always teaching a way of peace which made little sense to those around Him. It's about power. Those who had it did NOT want to relinquish a moment of it. So they killed Him thinking death would end it all. They did not realize they were still carrying out the perfect plan of the Father God. His will prevailed and on the third day Christ Jesus rose from the dead.

He took on the sins of the world. ALL of them whether we accept it or not. He was separted from the Father. I believe this is the real hell. To have no contact with my Daddy...I cannot fathom the despair. He took on the pain, shame and debt of my sins so that I might be made holy and blameless before my Daddy. He cried out, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing," and knew it was not only for those right that minute who tormented Him, but for ALL of us who go against what He's asked of us. He didn't need us to ask for the forgiveness in order to want to give it. He wanted us to be at peace with Him and with each other.

We read in Romans 12:18 "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." And then in Ephesians 6:12 we read, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."

When we fight with one another, not being rooted in Christ's love and peace, we grieve the Holy Spirit. We are CALLED to be at peace with ALL men. We tend to find disputable matters to argue about which truly have nothing to do with the reality that we are supposed to turn angry words away with gentle ones according to Proverbs 15:1. Yet, too often we go on the attack and say things which wound deeply and the enemy WINS. He divides and hurts and causes bitterness to separate those who are Christ's. We decide that someone else isn't being the Christian they should be and we turn a cold shoulder to them. Is that what CHRIST, the Savior Who, while writhing in abject PAIN on a cross begged His Father to forgive those causing His torment, would do? Who then are we to do it to others when we claim we want to be conformed to His perfect image?

The time is coming soon when our Lord will come back with a shout and take all of His bride home. He will currently find backbiting, anger, bitterness and wrath. All those things which Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us, EXPRESSLY, to get rid of..."Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

And yes, I've heard the argument that we are only supposed to forgive those who have asked for it. I tell you to re-read Christ's words on the cross. NOWHERE do those who punished Him ask for forgiveness and yet He did not withold it. THAT is our example. NOT what the enemy would have us do which is holding onto the very things we are CALLED to get rid of so we can live righteously for Christ. Scripture tells us that those who are not yet believers will know us by our love, one for another. I look at my own family and don't see it. There's more bitterness and wrath swirling than a tornado in some cases. Yet they feel justified because they've been hurt. And satan wins. My heart breaks as I watch the patterns being played out over and over. Honestly, none of us want to hear that the forgiveness isn't actually FOR the other person. It's for US. It's so that WE are in a right relationship with Christ. If there's any of that mess in our hearts, then that's less of HIM in our heart. How sad!

During this time of Passover week and Resurrection weekend my prayer is for reconciliation, for my family who desperately need it from one end to the other, and for yours. For the body of Christ to rise up and BE what Christ calls us to be! United in HIM. Loving each other as Christ loved His church and GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER. We don't love others that way, do we? Why not? Who's helping to keep us in the misery that is bitterness, anger, wrath and malice? Think about who's side you are on and Who's side you WANT to be on.

May the peace of Christ reign in your life and may this mean a radical change in how you deal with others. Remembering our struggle is NOT against the people, but against a common enemy who longs for us to be destroyed.

2006-03-30T13:18:00.000-05:00

For the last six weeks or so God has had a very heavy burden on my heart. A particular song repeats itself in my brain. It's by Third Day called, "Cry Out To Jesus". The lyrics are pretty simple, yet hold such power.

Two weeks ago I found out I was scheduled to sing during our morning worship at church. I knew without a doubt which song to do. It's a fairly new song so I was concerned I wouldn't be able to find the performance track for it. I prayed about it and knew if I was to do this song, God would provide. He did.

I'm almost shaking with emotion right now. While practicing for Sunday I have cried through the song more times than not. I've had to have such a tight control on my voice that I wonder how in the world I'll make it through without completely breaking down.

You see, the words say this:

Cry Out To Jesus - Third Day (2005)

To everyone who's lost someone they love
long before it was their time.
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye.

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
keepin' you back from your life.
You believe that there's nothing
and there is no one who can make it right.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
have lost all of their faith in love.
and they've done all they can to make it right again
still it's not enough.

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
you try to give up but you come back again.
Just remember that you're not alone
in your shame and your suffering.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus.

When you're lonely and it feels like the whole world is falling on you
you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus

Cry to Jesus.

To the widow who suffers from being alone,
wipin' the tears from her eyes.
For the children around the world without a home,
say a prayer tonight.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

I know SO many people with these exact struggles, pains and burdens. And, though it seems so simple and so hard at the same time, the answer TRULY is just to cry out to Jesus.

On Sunday, April 2nd at around 10:45 or so, I covet your prayers. Not only am I going to sing the song, but God has burdened my heart to address my congregation with a challenge. Now, for anyone who knows me well you know I challenge people on a minutely basis. :-) That's not an issue. I just feel so passionately burdened by this I'm on the verge of crying every time I think about it.

The masks we wear have GOT to come off. We have GOT to start being open and vulnerable enough to let those around us know we struggle. How can God work through us to help others if those people don't KNOW we have the same problems? How can He use our past hurts and troubles, when He's brought us the victory and Himself the glory, if we don't SHARE them?

There are those who have been in adultery in our congregation yet have the shame of thinking they are still covered in that sin even though they've been forgiven and healed. Those who struggle everyday with just believing there IS a God who loves us or with how to have faith in every day life. Same thing with addictions. God has given them the victory yet they hide it for whatever reason. Pride mostly, I think.

How much would satan suffer if we dropped our masks and were real with each other about our lives? I'm not saying I've got this down to a science. There are things I haven't felt God tell me to share with every person I meet. On the other hand, He's used everything in my life to help someone else through their struggles.

I used to wear masks. I tried for a long time to be whatever anyone wanted me to be. It didn't work. In fact, it was one of the worst experiences of my life. But now that I've learned that lesson, I'm FREE. I'm free to be who He made me to be without apology. I'm free to love on people when they are hurting, sad, desperate in their struggles. I'm free to speak the words He gives me knowing I'm in HIS will and that's all that matters.

So, as I share my heart with our congregation, I deeply covet your prayers. I also ask that you be praying for yourself. What masks are you wearing? Are you trying to be something or someone you were not meant to be? Is it working? I doubt it. Take off the mask!!!! BE who God intended you to be when He knit you in your mother's womb. He knows you! He knows every cell in your body and what He wanted for you. Seek His face and He will show you a freedom and peace you cannot imagine.

Colossians 2:1-17

For I want you to know how great a struggle I have on your behalf and for those who are at Laodicea, and for all those who have not personally seen my face, that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

I say this so that no one will delude you with persuasive argument. For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ. Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority; and in Him you were also circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, in the removal of the body of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ; having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.

When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities, He made a public display of them, having triumphed over them through Him. Therefore no one is to act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day -- things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ.
NASU

May we all be able to show the face God made to everyone we meet, rather than the mask the enemy would try to make us hide behind.

IN Christ,

A

2006-02-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

Web Of Lies

I recently finished a book called “Web Of Lies” by one of my favorite authors, Brandilyn Collins. The suspense was great, the writing of high caliber, but the message struck me the most.

Without giving anything away, I can tell you the overall theme of the book has to do with the title, which may seem obvious. Though I believe it all starts with a SINGLE strand of “lie” which the enemy feeds us and then becomes a web in which we get tangled.

Each of us, in whatever stage of our faith walk we might be, are probably buying into some lie from the enemy. What that lie is in your life I could only guess. Being the person I am, I have some ideas for those I know. As a true believer that Scripture is THE ultimate measuring stick for Truth I’m going to tackle a few lies that come to mind and give some verses which dispel that lie for what it is.

Prayerfully ask God to show you what you are hearing from the enemy which is wrong and how it is affecting your life. Again, these are only a few on a long list the devil uses to trip us up. If you would like to contact me personally for some help, I can do my best to find the Scriptural texts for what’s going on.

Some lies:

- God is punishing me for sins I’ve committed in the past. Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

This TRULY means the sin, once repented of and forgiveness requested, is GONE. God doesn’t keep a record of wrong as it says in 1 Corinthians 13. He IS love and therefore all those verses hold to the character of God. Rom 4:7-8 "BLESSED ARE THOSE WHOSE LAWLESS DEEDS HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN, AND WHOSE SINS HAVE BEEN COVERED. BLESSED IS THE MAN WHOSE SIN THE LORD WILL NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT." The capitals are part of my Bible and not my own. The shed blood of Jesus Christ is the covering. It blots out ALL sin. Not just the little ones or the ones you think He can handle.

- There’s a person out there who will make my life complete. Colossians 2:8-10 “See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;”

I’ve been talking with a few different women lately. All have said the same basic thing. We are raised, in this culture, to believe there’s a fairy tale ending in our future once we meet “the right person” and get married. That person will fulfill every need in our lives and we will live happily ever after. REALITY CHECK. This is NOT how God intended it to be. Yes, the person He has for you is going to balance you, challenge you to be better, and help you along the path (if they are walking as they should) to a deeper relationship with CHRIST Who will fulfill every need you have. NO human being can make you happy. I repeat, NO HUMAN BEING CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. It’s just not possible. They are human. They are fallible. They are going to fall, hurt you, disappoint you and even rip your heart out sometimes. This will NEVER be the case with Christ. He is the AUTHOR AND PERFECTOR OF OUR FAITH (Hebrews 12:2).

- I have to clean myself up before I can come to Christ and ask for His forgiveness. Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Did you catch that very first word in the verse? CREATE. And Who does the creating? GOD. You have nothing to do with it except a willingness to submit your life to His Lordship. That’s it. You CAN’T make yourself clean. It’s not possible. Ephesians 5:25-27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, HAVING CLEANSED HER BY THE WASHING OF WATER WITH THE WORD, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” The emphasis is mine, but you understand the point. It’s Christ's blood, the shedding of it, and the washing of our lives in the Word (which is ALSO Christ – see John 1:1) which cleanses us. Nothing we do will ever make us clean. It’s all about Him.

- I’m the only one who struggles with this sin. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

Now whether you TAKE the escape route is something else entirely, but the hatch is there. And I guarantee there are others in the body dealing with the same sin. God says so. There’s NOTHING new under the sun. Nothing. Christ was tempted in every way we are and yet, God, in His mercy, gave the escape hatch and the Savior took it each time. The most well known temptation is in the wilderness by satan himself. What did Christ use to battle the enemy? The WORD. He knew it inside and out. ‘Course He did have some advantages since He IS the Word, but we are called to be imitators of Him, right? Therefore, what do we need to do? Get the Word hidden in our hearts so we can combat the enemy when he throws those temptations our way.

- I do what I don’t want to do.

Yep. That’s the way of life here on this corrupted earth. BUT, we have HOPE. Paul speaks about his “thorn”. A thought just came to me. Perhaps his thorn was some lie he couldn’t shake from satan? Some nagging unworthiness with which the enemy continued to haunt him. He did persecute Christians to the point of death. He held the cloaks of the other Pharisees so they could stone Stephen. And we see the beautiful word picture of Jesus Christ, the Savior of all, STANDING to welcome Stephen into the kingdom. Man, what a dream! But I digress. How do we change this? WE don’t! Only God can change these things in our lives. It’s our obeDIEnce. Yes, I did that on purpose. Ever notice the little word in the very middle of obedience? It’s DIE. We HAVE to die to self and live for Christ. We MUST put aside our wants and longings which aren’t of Him and give ourselves over to the abundant life He has in store for us. Easy? Not hardly! This world is FULL of things which seem to satisfy, but only ever for a time. Then we’re back to what? Feeling like a worm. Feeling like we let Him down. Which, in all honesty, we did. BUT, He’s still THERE!!! He may shake His head at us and say, “Not the best idea, was it?” Then He’s likely to say, “Ready for My way? Come on. Let’s go from here.”

- My success is measured in the world’s standards of fame and fortune. Mark 4:18-19 "And others are the ones on whom seed was sown among the thorns; these are the ones who have heard the word, but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.”

I am, by NO means, saying those who have been blessed financially should give it all away or you’re not godly. That’s something only Christ can tell you in your life and for His purposes. Those desires and that wealth CAN be something which keeps us from having the relationship He’s desperate for us to know. He DIED for us to have that relationship and yet we chase the almighty dollar which has done NOTHING for us.

As I said before, these are just a very few of the numerous lies I’ve heard satan tickle ears with to keep people from a deeper relationship with Christ. I could go on and on. I doubt I’ve even hit most of the lies, but God knows and if you are truly seeking His will for your life, He will show you where you’ve been led astray.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Scriptures. Okay, there are a LOT of favorites. This is one I’ve actually committed to memory. Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the path everlasting.” That’s a prayer I try to pray daily. Hard for the enemy to break through when we’re begging God to show us HIS way. Stay on the offensive. The enemy is prowling, seeking someone to kill, steal from and destroy. I pray your armor is on tight (Ephesians 6:10-19) and you are imbedding His Word deeply into your heart daily.

2006-01-24T05:45:00.000-05:00

Wrestling Match

Good morning! It’s been a while since God’s laid anything particular on my heart to share. A lot has happened in the month or so which has passed. Some of you I’ve spoken with directly and others have gotten emails here and there. Some of you I don’t know personally, but you are loved in Christ nonetheless.

Last time was a little tough. I must have struck a few nerves since I didn’t get much in the way of a response. :-D Honestly, I’m not bothered in the least by the lack of comments. That’s not why I write these blogs. I write them to help others gain a deeper relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. Today, though, some may think I’m writing about them specifically. Nope. There is no one person for whom this applies. It applies to my own life as much as anything. Because of our soul’s deep desire to be closer to God we will inevitably find ourselves in this kind of circumstance in life. It’s how we proceed which will make the difference.

Here’s the Scripture which started all this out today – Genesis 32:24-28
“Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When he (the man) saw that he had not prevailed against him (Jacob), he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him (the man). Then he (the man) said, ‘Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.’ But he said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’

So he (the man) said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’

He (the man) said, ‘Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.’”
NASU

I added the little helps for those, like me, who have problems following the pronouns sometimes. :-)

Jacob wrestled with God. While we don’t see God Himself coming down and physically struggling with Jacob, we know this is true. WHY??? Why did Jacob, after having been given the blessing of God’s own promise to him (Genesis 28:11-15) still wrestle?

How about us? Are we not given the promise from God in Jeremiah 29:11? “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’” And yet we struggle against Him when we don’t like how the “plans and future” seem to be turning out. Forget for the moment that WE are probably the main reason why we don’t like the current situation and it’s due to our own poor choices. That’s for another day. :-)

We tell Him He can’t be right in how He’s working things out, though we are told in Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” He couldn’t possibly have meant for me to go through this pain, right?

What about Jacob? Did God mean for him to limp for the rest of his life? You BET He did! WHY? In our weakness God is made strong. When we rely on HIM for our strength He can do amazing things in our lives. Want proof? Think back on some trying times you’ve had. Did you draw closer to God or wrestle with Him? What was the outcome? For myself, I’ve wrestled. I’ve yelled and sobbed and wanted to throw things at Him. Did it really make any difference? Nope. He just looked at me and said, “Are you done now? Can we go from here the way I originally intended or do we have to fight more before you’ll realize I love you and have the best in mind for you?” And guess what? The best has ALWAYS, and I truly mean ALWAYS, been better than what I could have gotten on my own. For those who know me, you can see some of the blessings God has given me for my letting Him call the shots.

Now I will start to show a little of the personal without using names. What are you contending with God about today? Giving a child up to His will? Letting go of destructive behaviors which have drug you down for years? Allowing God to heal you in a marriage relationship? Allowing God to HEAL the marriage relationship despite what your flesh feels? Getting out of a destructive relationship? Remembering that we are called to forgive no matter what? Getting rid of a crutch you’ve used to cover up the deeper pains? Holding onto someone who might not be the one God intends for you? Just seeking to be closer to HIM and not some person?

DON’T LET GO! Jacob held onto the man and said he wouldn’t let go until he got the blessing. He clung. He wanted that blessing more than anything, this time legitimately. Cling to the One who gives the blessings. Hold onto Him and tell Him how much you want to see the good in your life. HIS way. Ask Him to be the One to guide your steps today and always. Grab His hand and take this walk in life. The path is rocky at times, but He will be there to help you THROUGH it. Sometimes around, but mostly THROUGH.

I once heard a quote something like this: A life’s story would be pretty boring without the challenges and conflicts as well as the conquests. I can honestly say I’m thankful for the wrestling matches I’ve had with Christ. They have always brought me into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him. And that’s priceless.

2005-12-05T04:54:00.000-05:00

Wake Up!

Mark 2:1-12
And when He had come back to Capernaum several days afterward, it was heard that He was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no longer room, even near the door; and He was speaking the word to them. And they came, bringing to Him a paralytic, carried by four men. And being unable to get to Him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Him; and when they had dug an opening, they let down the pallet on which the paralytic was lying. And Jesus seeing their faith said to the paralytic, “My son, your sins are forgiven.”

I sat in my living room this morning in a trance, almost. We just finished four performances (I dislike using that word, but nothing else is coming to me at 5 A.M.) of our church’s Living Christmas Tree. My back is hurting, my feet are tired beyond tired and I don’t know that I want to see the inside of our church for another month, let alone on Wednesday. I know that feeling will change between now and then since our church is a second home to me.

I prayed on my armor, first thing when I sat down with my Bible. I feel good there. Then I just sat on the couch. No real thoughts connecting in my head. No desire, other than a passing one, to write in my prayer journal. “Okay, God, why did you wake me at 4:30 in the morning if there wasn’t something important to meet with You about?”

Beyond the “duh” moment of just MEETING with God for no reason other than fellowship, came the urge to flip through the Bible in one of my favorite ways. I close it, stick my fingernail in a portion without trying to figure out what part of Scripture I’m headed for and open the book to see what God has for me. I, in my tired mind, thought I was somewhere in one of the Old Testament prophets. Nope, it was Mark 2.

I read the story of the paralytic all the way through, but my mind really stopped on the first part. I have to wonder who was the most determined? Was the paralytic the one telling the four men to climb onto the roof, carrying him mind you, and then to DIG into someone else’s roof? Then, not only did they dig that hole, they lowered him THROUGH it. We’ll never know who’s bright idea this was, but this isn’t like some of the parables Christ told. This was real. Someone wanted to be healed by Him so badly they went to these kinds of extremes. And we can’t even be bothered some days to get in our cushy cars and drive to church on Sundays.

I never said I was going to be soft on things so get ready for a punch. :-) WE are the paralytic and we’re suffering. WE don’t have the determination to have our friends dig a hole in someone else’s roof and get our healing. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience someone by putting a hole in their roof, how rude! Or to ask someone to do something we could do ourselves. We don’t have the desire to be with Christ no matter what. Oh, we give the lip service to living for Christ, but we do nothing which shows that for the most part.

I know some who have gone to far away lands and done mission trips for Him. I’m not knocking that at all. I have to admit I’m glad God hasn’t called me to do that and follow through on it. I AM knocking our everyday lifestyles, especially here in the good old U.S.A. How many reading this today have opened their Bibles before they checked their email? I didn’t, I confess. How many of us OPEN our Bibles and spend ANY significant time with the One Who can heal us, body and soul? How much study have we done on a certain word in Scripture to see what God’s original message was to us rather than man’s interpretation? Or even to see how many verses use that word? How many of us have spent more than the reading time required in Scripture without really stopping to think about a passage? How many of us have prayed more than the cursory, “Help me today, God, to get through _________” fill in the blank? How many of us have sought the answer to that “get through” in the Book which gives us all the answers?

God has shown me that His church, the body of believers, is sick. There are few healthy specimens of Christ walking around in the world today. Many live by their own insights and experiences rather than seeking the Truth for how to live a life in Christ. We are the paralytics and the lepers desperately needing the healing of Christ, but lacking the drive to seek it, doing whatever it takes to get it.

Here’s my challenge to you. Get off your duff and start making God first in your day and life. He asks for the first fruits of our labor and that includes our waking. Sacrifice a bit for Him. He did a lot more for us.

Mark 1:35 – “And in the early morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there.”

He’ll meet you there. He promised.

2005-11-28T05:38:00.000-05:00

MOVE OVER

You’ve probably seen a bumper sticker saying, “God is my Co-pilot”. I know I have and I used to think it was a good one. Not anymore. It’s all about CONTROL. No one wants to say it out loud, but we humans WANT to be in control of our lives. We feel threatened when anything gets out of the “plan” we have set in our minds for how things should be done. From there it’s a downhill spiral into fear, anger, resentment, and sometimes bitterness against God for “what He’s done to me”. Forget that He’s given us everything we need to keep out of the situation if we just rely on Him and not ourselves. It’s still HIS fault, right?

Here’s a truth we all need, and I mean NEED to fix in our minds: GOD IS GOD AND I AM NOT. Whether we really WANT to acknowledge the sovereignty of God and His ultimate control over our lives or not, He still IS sovereign and holds the final say. My mom has said many times, “This is God’s sandbox and we have to play by His rules”. If you don’t like that, I challenge you to find another sandbox.

Some interesting things have happened in our family over the last two years. It’s been a rough road of unknowns and flat out fears sometimes as to what is coming next. But every time we let go and allowed God to have the control of the situation it came out SO much better than we could have manipulated it to be. I think we’re finally learning to let that control go sooner.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’”

The plan of God is for welfare and HOPE. What happens when we try to take back over? Calamity. The definition of calamity? According to Webster’s dictionary: 1 : a state of deep distress or misery caused by major misfortune or loss or 2 : a disastrous event marked by great loss and lasting distress and suffering *calamities of nature* *an economic calamity*

Anyone see a difference in the outcomes from when God has the control and when we try to take control? Hmm.

STOP FIGHTING GOD. You are wrestling with the Almighty God, Creator of everything and you have some misguided thought that you MIGHT win. Talk about arrogance. We humans think we know better than the One who put this world in motion with just a thought. Psalm 8:3-9 says, “When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers, The moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained; What is man that Thou dost take thought of him? And the son of man, that Though dost care for him? Yet Thou hast made him a little lower than God, And dost crown him with glory and majesty!”

My father recently noticed a change in my email signature line and it prompted a discussion. For years Psalm 46:10 has been MY verse. “Be still and know that I AM God….” The New American Standard Version of Scripture reads, “Cease striving and know that I AM God…” and I’ve changed my sig line to say this instead. Why? I see SO many people striving to be God in their own lives. I then see, and sometimes have to help council them through, the calamity which ensues. “Be still” has a great meaning. I doubt the NAS version will start being seen on coffee mugs and such anytime soon. But the MEANING of the NAS version is what appeals to me. Quit TRYING TO BE GOD and let Him do what He does best!

I’ve also seen bumper stickers which fix the original problem and say, “If God is your Co-pilot, move over.” Try it God’s way. The road is going to be bumpy, more than bumpy at times, but I guarantee His way is MUCH better in the long run.

2005-11-01T06:14:00.000-05:00

The Wedding Day

I don't know any women who haven't at least thought about what their wedding day would be like. Most dream of the fairy tale with the long white dress and Prince Charming waiting to sweep them away. Some have even tried to have that “perfect” day. Some have achieved it. My own wedding, due to my willfulness, didn't turn out like those original wishes. My husband and I have joked over the years that we should have eloped! :-)

My dream wedding has changed. "Wait," some might say. "You're already married! How can you be dreaming of another wedding when you have a husband?" You're right. I have an earthly husband and he's everything God intended him to be in my life; love, kindness, fun, joy, laughter and strength. All those things are for the HERE of earth. I have a Groom who is even more than I could ever want or imagine. Let me tell you about my dream Wedding Day.

You see, there's an enormous amount of anticipation for this day. Long ago I made a promise to my Beloved. I promised to wait for Him and be His bride. I didn't know all the ramifications at the time, of course. I was too young. But over the years He and I have grown so much closer. He gives me little gifts to show His love for me. I sigh with delight over each one, though sometimes the path to the gift is rough. My longing for the time we can be together has grown as well. So, with such anxious delight I dream. I dream of...

Standing at the end of a long hallway with a set of closed doors in front of me. All is pristine with cleanliness and an air of peace surrounds me while excitement zings through me. The robe I'm wearing is without wrinkle or stain or spot, (Ephesians 5:26-27) having no hint of any. It's sheer beauty takes my breath away being of such a pure white as I've never seen before. (Revelation 3:5) I know Who awaits me behind the doors. I know He chose me and wants me as His. There’s no doubt in my mind of how He will see me, but I can’t wait to see the look in His eyes when I see HIM for the very first time.

The doors slowly open and reveal my Daddy, waiting with a huge smile on His glowing face. His pride in me and my Groom fills the room with it’s treasure. For a time I can’t do anything but grin back. Then my gaze falls on my Prince of Peace. Oh, what a moment.

There He stands clothed in garments of such purity it near dazzles my eyes to look at Him. His face, wreathed in a smile so big it stretches almost to His ears. His arms are flung out, begging me to hurry to His side so we can spend all of eternity together. His laughter, filled with joy and love floods over me like a balm, letting me know His own delight is none too contained. But His eyes. Oh, those eyes which look at me and have seen ALL of me to the deepest corners of my heart. Eyes flooded with joyous tears. Tears course down His beloved cheeks as He watches me come to Him as I came to Him so long ago, but now I finally make the walk which will unite us for all time in the same place.

Here is where my dream wanders a bit. Like the song, “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me, I wonder if I’ll dance? Or will I sing as is my want here on earth? Or will I just fall into a puddle of joy at His beloved feet? Will I be able to take a breath for the emotions clogging my heart to overflowing? Will tears run down my own cheeks to finally see Him face-to-face?

In my dream I hear my Daddy say, “Well done, my good and faithful slave.” Then I hear the most beautiful word spoken from such perfect lips, “Come.”

Honestly, I think I’ll run. I’ll run faster than I ever have before. You see, there’s been an anticipation I just can’t explain to you, driving in my heart toward that day when I will be with my Groom forever. I love my life here on earth, don’t get me wrong. My heart knows this is not HOME, though. Home is where my Groom is and I long to be there with a longing beyond human words.

His outstretched arms will fold around me and the ceremonial feast will begin. Forever will finally have a Face.

Come quickly, Beloved.

2005-10-11T19:53:00.000-04:00

The Other Side of the Armor

Last time God prompted me to remind His children to suit up for the battle. My pastor’s father mentioned to me a few years ago a “flaw” in the armor. There is nothing protecting the back! You might suppose God is expecting us to have HIM watch our backs. True. You might also think He wants our brothers and sisters in Christ to help guard our backs. But DO we?

What I am about to say will anger some and I don’t really care. Conviction hurts and the Truth of the Word of God will slice through our sin quicker than we might want. The church as the Bride of Christ needs to wake up and stop playing the games of the enemy and the world.

I’ve said it many times…Christians eat their own. Church divisions are known by unbelievers as much as they are by believers. Denominational differences seem to be fodder for the “church wars” and worship styles help things along. Traditional vs. contemporary. Which is right? Which is what God would have us do? That’s for another session.

We are tearing apart the body of Christ! Every time we say something negative about a brother or sister it is shooting hurtful darts at the Savior. It doesn’t matter if you THINK what you’re saying is in love. Is it TRULY? Is it something which builds up and edifies? Romans 14:19 says “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.”

I don’t see it much. I do see Christians with less than humble attitudes when it comes to wrongs they believe they have suffered. I do see divisions in churches over the music played or not played. I do see people looking down on those who come to church in less than a suit and tie/dress and heels, as if Christ even WORE shoes most of the time. I do see hypocrisy in expecting someone should be better because “they go to church” and yet wanting grace for our own faults despite our own church attendance.

James 1:17-27 says “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures. This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
NASU

When was the last time you were “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” with a brother or sister in Christ? Do you READ the Scriptures on a consistent basis and therefore “receive the Word implanted, which is able to save your souls”? Are you a DOER of the Word or are you one who has been deluded? Take the mirror example. Do you hold in your spiritual stomach for the time it takes you to get through church on Sunday and then let the gut of worldliness hang out for the rest of the week?

This is harsh. This is TRUTH and I don’t see it being lived like it should be. God has taken what little gloves I used to have off. The time is drawing close when He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” or “Depart from Me, I know you not”. The spitting out is closer than a lot want to believe. Stop being lukewarm. He’s not interested in lukewarm. He wants hot or cold.

Bridle your tongue. Give control of your lips and tongue over to the One who WILL build up His body because He loves it and gave Himself up for it. Don’t allow your religion to be “worthless” because you have torn up another in the body with your wayward tongue.

I’d love to see brothers and sisters in Christ LOVING on each other despite their differences. Scripture tells us they will know us by the love we have one for another. Do they?

Food for thought. Feel free to pass this on to those who agree or disagree.

A. M. Wilson

2005-09-22T06:16:00.000-04:00

Suit Up

I've mentioned some of the things God has been doing in my life since April when He had me start praying the "armor of God" on each morning. I got to thinking about it the other day when I noticed a lot of Christians walking around without their defenses up. Strife, discord, hurt followed in the wake.

Why don't we use the equipment God's given us? Do we just not KNOW? Are we not taught to use all He's supplied for our daily living in Him? I wonder sometimes since so many of us walk around so badly damaged from attacks the enemy has launched our way finding no resistance.

Ephesians 6:10-12 has everything we need to start our day guarded against the attacks. We first find, "Be strong in the LORD and in the strength of HIS might." We tend to start our days running. How much more could we accomplish for Him if we just used HIS strength and might to get through the day? He doesn't wear out, but we certainly tend to by 5 o'clock!

"Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil." Wow. This armor can withstand what the evil one can lob our way. Why in the world would we NOT use it? What's the definition of crazy?

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." We contend with others around us in the flesh, but we don't battle the REAL enemy! How much of our attitude is "schemes of the devil"? I would be willing to bet more than we realize.

"Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything to stand firm." I want to stand firm. I don't want to be swayed by every shifting thought that comes to mind. I want to stay on track with His will in my life at all times. How do I think I can do that without His help? Crazy....

"Stand firm, therefore, having girded your loins with truth..." Truth. What truth? Well, that might seem like a silly question, but have you opened the Word of God today? Do you on a consistent basis? Do you hunger and thirst for more of what He has to impart? Do you hide it in your heart so the "truth" He's given for us is what you've wrapped around you to keep out the lies of the devil?

"...and having put on the breastplate of righteousness..." Guarding our hearts is a breastplate, when we bother to put it on, which can withstand attacks from satan! (I don't like to capitalize his name, too much credit :-))

"and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace..." Re-read my post about peace. Is the peace you're seeking HIS peace to ride out the storms or a peace to get rid of all storms? Which is He wanting you to have?

"in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish the flaming missiles of the evil one." Faith is believing without seeing. Our walk with Christ is a walk of faith. Few of us have ever seen Him, but we believe He's there. This piece of equipment is so versitile! It can move around and protect us from any direction the missiles are flung!

"And take the helmet of salvation..." We're supposed to be keeping things out of our minds which might corrupt or poison our thoughts. But do we? With the helmet firmly in place we can be more assured our minds are protected. Every sin we commit is conceived first in the mind.

"...and the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." It comes back to knowing the Word. In and out of season, we have to KNOW the Word of God. With these words God has inspired we can be protected, loved, encouraged, rebuked, enlightened, EQUIPPED for all He's called us to do. But do we READ it? Do we chew on the wording and seek out its original meanings? Do we WANT to learn more from Him, but lack the discipline to make the time in our lives. Ouch.

Why walk around defenseless in this evil world? Why not put on the God-given armor to protect you and stand firm against an enemy who has come "to steal and kill and destroy"? The enemy has no compunction against destroying you. Why not make it impossible through the strength of GOD'S might?

Food for thought. Feel free to pass it on. Thanks to those who have commented and let me know how God's words to me have touched you. It means a lot. :-) I'll have to spell check this later. Gotta get kiddos off to school. :-)
A. M. Wilson

2005-09-07T06:03:00.000-04:00

Acceptable Sacrifice

Malachi 1:1-14

"The oracle of the word of the LORD to Israel through Malachi. "I have loved you," says the LORD. But you say, "How have You loved us?" "Was not Esau Jacob's brother?" declares the LORD. "Yet I have loved Jacob; but I have hated Esau, and I have made his mountains a desolation and appointed his inheritance for the jackals of the wilderness." Though Edom says, "We have been beaten down, but we will return and build up the ruins"; thus says the LORD of hosts, "They may build, but I will tear down; and men will call them the wicked territory, and the people toward whom the LORD is indignant forever." Your eyes will see this and you will say, "The LORD be magnified beyond the border of Israel!"

Sin of the Priests

"A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?' says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, "How have we despised Your name?'
"You are presenting defiled food upon My altar. But you say, "How have we defiled You?' In that you say, "The table of the LORD is to be despised.'
"But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and sick, is it not evil? Why not offer it to your governor? Would he be pleased with you? Or would he receive you kindly?" says the LORD of hosts.
"But now will you not entreat God's favor, that He may be gracious to us? With such an offering on your part, will He receive any of you kindly?" says the LORD of hosts.
"Oh that there were one among you who would shut the gates, that you might not uselessly kindle fire on My altar! I am not pleased with you," says the LORD of hosts, "nor will I accept an offering from you.
"For from the rising of the sun even to its setting, My name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense is going to be offered to My name, and a grain offering that is pure; for My name will be great among the nations," says the LORD of hosts.
"But you are profaning it, in that you say, "The table of the Lord is defiled, and as for its fruit, its food is to be despised.'
"You also say, "My, how tiresome it is!' And you disdainfully sniff at it," says the LORD of hosts, "and you bring what was taken by robbery and what is lame or sick; so you bring the offering! Should I receive that from your hand?" says the LORD.
"But cursed be the swindler who has a male in his flock and vows it, but sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord, for I am a great King," says the LORD of hosts, "and My name is feared among the nations."
NASU

God gives nothing but the best. He didn't allow some second rate sacrifice to die on the Cross for the cleansing of our sins. He sent the Lamb without blemish or spot. Do we give back to Him an offering without blemish or spot? Or do we give back only what we think we can get away with?

I'm not talking money here. It has nothing to do with that. I'm talking about ourselves. Are we giving Him ALL of us or only what we think He should have? Is what we DO give Him the best we have? Are we thinking we can get away with offering Him second rate goods, hearts which are not completely seeking Him in all things, and still receive the first rate blessings?

You see, God knows us inside and out. He sees it all. There is no blindness in Him, especially to our sin. He's got quite a keen sense of awareness to disobedience. We may think we can just ignore His call on our lives, but He sees it. He is grieved over it and our blessings are marked accordingly.

What is it He's calling for in your life that you've thought you could get around? Ask Him to search your heart and show you where He's working and you're getting in the way. Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any hurtful way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

Don't try to do the self exam. You're bound to find a ton of stuff, but it might not be what the Lord wants you to focus on right now. Let Him shine the light into the corners of your heart and reveal that which is keeping you from the full measure of His blessing.

Wait till you see what He can do with a perfect offering.

In Christ,
A. M. Wilson

2005-08-17T09:44:00.000-04:00

Home

1 Corinthians 15:50-51 - "Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in a twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed."

I've dreamed of heaven. I didn't want to come back. It was years ago. Before my son was old enough to eat on his own. I don't think he had said his first "Mommy" yet, even. My daughter was 5 or 6 years down the road. My husband hadn't finished college and gotten his first full-time job. I wasn't even a youth director yet. So much I would have missed, but it all meant nothing to the longing I had in my soul to be Home.

The song by Mercy Me I Can Only Imagine gets me every time. How will I respond? In my dream I ran to Him. There were people in my way and I tried desperately to get through the crowd. He stood in front of me clothed in whitest white with His arms open wide to hug me and a smile on His face which could light the earth. There's a catch in my heart thinking about it. I don't remember His face other than that smile.

I love my life. I'm blessed with healthy and wonderful children, though they make me wonder some days. My marriage is strong and healthy. We live in a nice house with our dog in a great neighborhood. We've got a church family that resembles what Scripture calls the body to be. There are some who will think I'm nuts for wanting to be rid of it all. But I do. I'm not suicidal or going to start wearing sackcloth and ashes. But here on earth is not what I'm living for.

I have stood in front of my kitchen window and wept with the longing in my heart to be Home. For Him to come and take me back. There's NOTHING on this earth worth what He gives. The overwhelming joy and love and peace I felt in that small time He let me see...it's indescribable. I wish sometimes He hadn't given me that picture.

My Groom will come back for me, someday. He's my Betrothed. We are covenanted to be together forever. I will stand before Him, clothed in the richest of robes, righteousness, and hear Him call me by the name He gave me when I first became His, a name I don't even know yet. But I'll hear it for the first time. I know it will be the sweetest music my ears have ever heard. I long....

Come quickly, Beloved.

"He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming quickly.' AMEN. Come, Lord Jesus." Revelation 22:20

2005-08-10T10:40:00.000-04:00

I Deserve...

While reading in 1 Corinthians 13, otherwise known as the "love" chapter, I noticed something. It's a very familiar passage of Scripture. We even had it read at our wedding since it's my husband's favorite. You know how it goes, "love is patient, love is kind..." etc. In trying to meditate and dig more deeply into Scripture to find hidden treasures, I came across 1 Corinthians 13:5 "...does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered..." and I thought WOW what a lot of meat to chew on.

Break it down a bit - "does not act unbecomingly". I've been examining myself lately to see if there is anything in me which doesn't measure up with how Christ would want me to behave. One of my new favorite memory passages is Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way."

I have to wonder if there are things I laugh at which grieve my Savior. Or words I speak which hurt the witness He would have me be. I'm supposed to be trying to get some control over my tongue according to Scripture. Look over James 3:5-10 where it tells us the tongue is "the very world of iniquity".

And that's just in how I TALK! What else is there in my behavior He would have me change? I don't know yet, but He'll show me.

How about "it does not seek its own"? Here we go. How many times have I heard, or said myself, that I don't DESERVE to be treated in such a way? Well, I'm right. I don't deserve to be treated as well as I am on this earth. I DESERVE, because "the wages of sin is death" Romans 6:23, death. I gave up my "rights" when I accepted the Savior who DID NOT deserve the treatment He endured for me. He gave up His rights so that I, sinful in the flesh that I am, may spend eternity with Perfection. I don't deserve anything except the horrible consequences of my sin, but He loved me enough to give up what He DID deserve. That's love.

Next is "is not provoked". I'm in trouble again. My hubby tells me I'm a candidate for road rage. I don't think I'm quite that bad, but we've noticed I tend to attract the "idiot" drivers. Hubby says he doesn't encounter the same volume of bad drivers on the road when I'm not in the car. I can't attest to that, obviously. But I can tell you I seem to find them. And, yes, I do get provoked. Easily.

When my son doesn't obey directions and it ends up causing life in the house to be more difficult. Yep, I'm provoked. When my daughter chews through another cord on something plugged into the wall in the 10 seconds I ran to the restroom. Provocation again.

I think, though, the biggest issue for people in general is the last part of the first Scripture. The "does not take into account a wrong suffered". How many marriages would there still be if this were the case? How many families would still be speaking to each other? How many of us would have spoken more kindly to someone at work? How many kids would know they were loved by their parents? How many churches would be actively thriving for Christ? How many more people would know the Savior?

When something is "taken into account" it is recorded. It's logged somewhere in our brains so we can bring it back up again. I call that historical fighting. We dredge up the most minor things to fire at the offending person. It all goes back to the title of today's blog..."I DESERVE". We take those wrongs and file them away in our little brains because we feel we DESERVE better. We deserve to be treated more kindly, be more appreciated, more -fill in the blank here-. I'm not saying we should excuse obviously wrong behavior. Scripture is pretty clear on those, but what about those slights we record?

Today, try something new. Try NOT to dwell on whatever that person just said which tweaked you. Try to FORGET it and remember they are still a work in progress, JUST LIKE YOU ARE. None of us are THERE yet. We won't be getting THERE until Christ returns and takes us Home. Ah, Home...that's for another day.

In all of this remember, 1 Corinthians 4:4-5 "For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord. Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God."

Don't take all of this on at once. Pray about what the Lord would have you see and work on in your walk with Him. Don't just assume you know. He might surprise you with something you hadn't even thought was an issue. Let HIM be the One to examine your heart and shed light where necessary changes need to be made.

In all things, PRAY. Seek Him. He promised those who seek Him will find Him. I pray you seek with all your heart today.

2005-08-01T07:17:00.000-04:00

Ever wake up and wonder what in the world God has in store for you? Your first waking moments are taken up with a sick child VERY early on a night you were up late? Or, as in my case this morning, your pet has intestinal problems and has left a "present" of the softest form on your floor and a lovely aroma permeating your home?

Lately I've been praying for God to order my days. I've told friends we better be SURE we're ready for Him to do this before we pray it. Not as if He won't order our days anyway, but if we are seeking His will for our days we had better make sure we are prepared for what He will do.

Take a typical day in my household. Notice I didn't say a typical day, period. My household is not typical by any stretch for MANY different reasons. :-) Mornings are chaotic with breakfast getting fixed (while trying to make sure my daughter doesn't put something other than a waffle into the toaster or burn her tongue on said appliance), mid morning is spent keeping her out of whatever her current obsession seems to be, afternoons take on the war-of-the-wills when it comes to nap time and actual SLEEP, evenings are an obstacle course of cooking and running around the house after her, and bedtime (that blessed time of day) is spent in sopping wet bath time and sweet nightly prayers. Now, this is typical for just the daughter in the household. There's dad and son (with the assortment of neighborhood friends parading through the house since it's still summer for 7 days). Also, church work, volunteer organizations (my writer's groups www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com) and just normal household stuff are added into the mix.

God has been working on me, a lot, in keeping myself open to where He is at work in other's lives around me. In April I started praying Ephesians 6:10-19 each morning. Here's what the NASV says: "Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the Gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. And take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverence and petition for all the saints, and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel..."

The last two verses, after the armor is on, are the ones which are the focus of my prayers more than the rest. I WANT to be ready with prayers for the the saints. I WANT to be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit when He calls me to helping one of His saints. But I have to be WILLING, at all times as the Scripture says, to be used by Him. I have to listen and be ready to drop whatever I'm doing if He calls me to be there for one of the saints. Most of you, especially if you HAVE my phone number :-), have called me at one time or another with a problem or concern. I know that's a time when the Lord is working in MY life to make me obedient in everything. I'm learning to put aside what I think I should be doing and let God work in my life for the good of His will.

But, it's a struggle sometimes. It's a CHOICE. I can be frustrated over not getting what "I" wanted to do completed or I can rejoice that the God of the universe chooses to use me to further His purposes. Being the optimist I am, I think you can figure out which one wins the most. :-)

So, YOU have a choice today. Do you allow Him to use you as HE sees fit and to bless you accordingly? Or will you fight against the blessings He longs to give you for your obedience? Your choice, but be ready for whatever comes your way. It will be challenging, but the rewards are more than worth it.

Matthew 25:21 "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master."

In Christ,
A. M. Wilson
"Cease striving and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

2005-07-28T07:41:00.000-04:00

Peace

I’ve had many people tell me they are desperately seeking peace in their lives. This morning I had a thought. Which KIND of peace are they looking for? Are they wanting circumstances which are currently taxing their strength to be gone or are they wanting the peace only Christ can give? Hmm….

For myself, the blessing of Christ’s peace has been unbelievable. For those who know me well, you understand a lot of the things that have gone on through the years and are still going on today. From family members who struggle with all kinds of issues to a daughter with special needs we haven’t even totally pinpointed yet, my life is a rollercoaster of uncertainty. There’s even been financial issues the last couple of years just to keep things interesting. You know, the small kind like do we sell our house and move into an apartment so we can get the bills paid. Minor stuff. But through it all I have a great peace. People can’t seem to understand it, and I don’t know that I do fully. It’s there nonetheless. The deep peace of knowing my God is Sovereign and in control to work things according to His will for the good in my life.

Scripture tells us, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” Hmm…"do not LET your heart be troubled, nor LET it be fearful.” Sounds like we have some control over this, but I think that’s another day’s topic.

In thinking about peace, I realized there are two very distinctive kinds of peace. My pastor talked a bit about it last night as well. There’s the cease fire kind of peace in wars. The sort of calm when all the bombs in life stop being lobbed our way. This is the peace “as the world gives”. It’s temporary until the missiles start heading your way again. It will NOT last. Then there’s the TRUE peace which settles deep within and ONLY comes from a relationship with Christ. Not “church”, not other Christians (though true believers can help that relationship grow), but the one on One daily living with the Savior.

See, we want the outside stuff to stop. We want things to be easy. We want life to be rosy and pretty all the time with no trials or tests. Guess what? It’s not going to happen whether you walk with Christ or not. Those tests are there for the heart which is not fully His to show you it’s not possible to do it on your own. For those who have given their lives over to Him, the tests and trials are to refine us and get rid of the impurities that keep us from being more like Him and doing what He calls us to do.

Peace from Christ is being in the middle of the battle and keeping your eyes on the One who has won the war. It’s letting HIM worry for you. I promise His shoulders are much more capable than yours are. It’s not stressing over the big OR little stuff because you know, deep in your heart, He loves you and has no plan to hurt you. The promise of Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’” Now, He doesn’t plan for there to be calamity, but we can certainly get ourselves INTO calamity when we aren’t sticking close to the Prince of Peace.

How do we get that elusive peace? Reading the Scriptures, seeking Him in our daily lives. Looking to Christ as our example of how to live in peace though storms rage and people try to “kill” you. He never lost His cool even when they were hanging Him on the cross. His words were, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Now there’s a peace I want. My prayer is that you are seeking the same peace from the ONLY Source.

In Christ,
A. M. Wilson
"Cease striving and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

2005-07-07T07:39:00.000-04:00

I’ve never done a blog before, nor do I read many. God gives me insights every once in a while which I just feel the need to share. I have no idea how often this will happen. Probably three times a week to start, but we’ll see where He takes us. I’m not a cream puff when it comes to my opinions or my faith. I’ll lay it out there and you have the ability to pray about it and search the Scriptures on your own to see what He will reveal. I don’t pull punches, nor apologize for the Truth of the Word. God wrote it for a reason. Seems to me we should pay attention whether we like what it says or not.

I’m a mom. I’m not a theologian, a pastor of a church, or even the member of a particular church. But I believe the Word of God speaks to all of us who read it with the spiritual eyes God’s given us.

Take my reading this morning for example in my translation of choice, the New American Standard Bible. Our pastor has been going through Corinthians. I was reading in Chapter 7:1-6, but also 6:16-20. The verse that jumped out at me was 4 – “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

Putting aside all the mess the Corinthians were in when it came to spiritual matters, God showed me something. Take a look at verse 20 of the previous chapter. “For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.”

What price? The price of the broken body of Jesus Christ on a cross. Our debt was paid with blood and death. My Groom, Jesus, died on that cross so that I could be free from all the things this body on earth tends to want to do. My Husband/Groom, gave up authority of His own body so He could fulfill the duty to me, His Bride/Wife.

Do we LIVE that way? Do we truly live as if we remember the price He paid for us? Do we even ask Him what we should do with our body today or do we blithely go about doing what we think is right and never look back? I have to admit my life falls more in the latter category than I’d like to believe.

Take back your “marriage” to Christ. Give back to Him the authority to tell you what to do today. Where to go, what to eat, when to sleep, who to speak to and what to say. Start small, He’ll meet you there. He promised.

In Christ,
A. M. Wilson
“Cease striving and KNOW that I AM GOD…” Psalm 46:10 NASV